tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4207495598783079185.post7350193475499216313..comments2023-10-24T15:39:09.200-06:00Comments on Life's like that : A Dark and Stormy Blogfest EntryTanya Reimerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00293977395016853814noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4207495598783079185.post-12831771538945895202011-02-08T23:39:02.065-06:002011-02-08T23:39:02.065-06:00I love the concept- I'm a sucker for stories o...I love the concept- I'm a sucker for stories of past lives!Stephanie Thorntonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17437077559099315853noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4207495598783079185.post-11496955292079033282011-02-08T21:55:39.784-06:002011-02-08T21:55:39.784-06:00I like this. I would definitely read on.I like this. I would definitely read on.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08798243128846248604noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4207495598783079185.post-74419045415557168732011-02-08T21:30:54.809-06:002011-02-08T21:30:54.809-06:00The voice of the character is present already and ...The voice of the character is present already and this sentence sets up the plot nicely. I'd read on for sure! christyerica and christyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13074820593371226159noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4207495598783079185.post-57033125053201799952011-02-08T21:14:08.080-06:002011-02-08T21:14:08.080-06:00Intriguing! I think mom and son could be heading f...Intriguing! I think mom and son could be heading for some trouble. Yes?RaShelle Workmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17582252557500502186noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4207495598783079185.post-80360518813957400942011-02-08T19:01:41.005-06:002011-02-08T19:01:41.005-06:00Very cool, you give us an idea of who the characte...Very cool, you give us an idea of who the character is. I might say that it read better without the second independent clause "and I never..."Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4207495598783079185.post-32695299249097306132011-02-08T18:20:56.867-06:002011-02-08T18:20:56.867-06:00Interesting - makes me want to read on, for sure, ...Interesting - makes me want to read on, for sure, to find out what's going on!Trishahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16927558937796802496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4207495598783079185.post-38079749046272628682011-02-08T17:41:31.632-06:002011-02-08T17:41:31.632-06:00great revision - it reads very fluid. I also like ...great revision - it reads very fluid. I also like Loralie's suggestion. Overall, I really like the concept.<br /><br />Well done.Dustinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13627994419189135018noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4207495598783079185.post-81012206300093427312011-02-08T16:06:24.348-06:002011-02-08T16:06:24.348-06:00This is a great first line. I think you could tigh...This is a great first line. I think you could tighten it just al ittle and it would be even more compelling. Maybe something like:<br /><br />Unlike my son, I don't like knowing who I was in past lives, and I've never asked oracles for their predictions.<br /><br />but even as it stands, it comveys so much intrigueLoralie Hallhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07134452749240292803noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4207495598783079185.post-11559189678293855302011-02-08T14:56:57.379-06:002011-02-08T14:56:57.379-06:00I'm hooked. I have a good feel for what this ...I'm hooked. I have a good feel for what this protagonist is like and some ideas about what she might be coming up against, and I like the voice. Re: Pensees point about the tenses, I think the 'was' works fine since it's the dependent part of a present tense phrase , but if you changed 'asked' to 'ask' it's more active. Nicely done!Linda Grayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18001433214194860481noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4207495598783079185.post-91650491911426419442011-02-08T14:22:30.595-06:002011-02-08T14:22:30.595-06:00Intriguing first line, but the tenses threw me a l...Intriguing first line, but the tenses threw me a little. Like is present, then "who I was" makes me look to the past, then "never asked" is past again.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01332426347997158850noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4207495598783079185.post-36387813035086909632011-02-08T13:45:18.115-06:002011-02-08T13:45:18.115-06:00So far, I Like your first line the best!So far, I Like your first line the best!Charlie Ricehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02347938747849177632noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4207495598783079185.post-67496923322431782302011-02-08T12:34:02.810-06:002011-02-08T12:34:02.810-06:00Well that's interesting. I'm intrigued!Well that's interesting. I'm intrigued!Gina Cioccahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18024256412233972412noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4207495598783079185.post-3591281330757163052011-02-08T12:21:43.017-06:002011-02-08T12:21:43.017-06:00I have a feeling that her son's fascination is...I have a feeling that her son's fascination is going to get them into a great deal of trouble. I'm intrigued.Lindz Pagelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04663646312808701883noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4207495598783079185.post-57709675624443938782011-02-08T12:14:14.105-06:002011-02-08T12:14:14.105-06:00Interesting. Does she have a different power then?...Interesting. Does she have a different power then?Carolyn Abiadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10567399129586443513noreply@blogger.com