My irrational fear?
It even freaks me out a little just thinking that. Always has. Why, I mean why would a spider be in my bathroom????
As with all irrational fears, it makes sense to me. Spiders in any other setting are neat. On my bathroom ceiling-- not cool. I'm in a vulnerable place where I'm focused and busy. Naked in the shower, pants around the ankles on the toilet, dangerous string between my gums... the list of my vulnerability is endless. I need to know I'm safe in my bathroom and creatures who attempt to defy gravity freak me out a little. What if they fell on me?
You see where I'm going with this, right?
Now I am fully awake screaming at a HUGE GREEN SPIDER on my right shoulder. (Please note that huge is not tarantula size-- we don't do kickass big spiders like that in Saskatchewan-- and I can see my cuz from Mexico rolling his eyes at me that it was just tiny and required no broom at all- apparently that is how he judges their size. And just for the record, if I ever saw a spider that required a broom for me to defend against I would move.)
Regardless, to me it was a monstrous hybrid-spider that was bred on the prairies. A result of too many field chemicals and fresh air. I looked it up, but I was probably the first person alive to ever see a spider like this. Or maybe, just maybe everyone is actually only concerned with the big ones that require a broom to defend against (I can't imagine a spider that freakishly big.)
This one had a fat round belly like the spiders we find on our wood piles only its big belly was dark green. Its legs were this cool light cream colour. Colour wise it was unique. Never seen one that shade before or even that combo of shades. I got thinking that maybe they only come out at night. We had one something like it only grey on our siding by the front door at one time and it only came out at night. When you'd go outside to check out the stars it would be looking at you all happy with life. Which is fine, spiders belong outside. Not on my right shoulder, at 3am, while I'm on the toilet.
Its belly was about the size of a dime. Big enough for me to grab onto (which thoroughly freaked me out.) Over all-- now that I'm safely tucked into my bed-- it was a a cool spider.
Where did it come from? By this I mean exactly how did it get on my right shoulder, at 3am, while I was on the toilet? Did it come with me from my bed? (okay we're going to rule that out right now because that will just create a new irrational fear that means I might never sleep again.)
So did it crawl off my toilet paper roll on to my shoulder? No. It was facing up as if it crawled out of my tangtop and was not headed down it. (THANK YOU GOD.) It looked ready to run but was somewhat stunned. (Yes, I caught all that in the moment we looked at each other and we screamed-- do spiders scream? I think this one might have.)
My only explanation is that my lifelong irrational fear came true. It fell from the ceiling (which in my groggy state I might have forgotten to check for spiders before entering and I promise you will never ever happen again) and landed on my shoulder. Does this mean my fear is no longer irrational? Hmmm. I liked it better when it was irrational and not actually a possibility.
As I was thinking about this in my bed, the air conditioner made a slight click that sent me to the ceiling and ended up with me pasted against superman. He of course woke up (finally!) and so I had to tell him my tale.
"Where did it come from?" I asked him so innocently.
He of course answered in the only way he knows-- with the bold honest truth, "They come from the basement."
They?
They?
THEY!
I meant how did it get on my shoulder but now all I can focus on is THEY. Should I be expecting a colony (or is that a cluster?) of these uglies? How does one prepare? Part of the fear is the unknown, they always take you off guard. And until that point, I assumed it came originally from outside. Anything green comes from grass, leaves, trees, not my basement. Geepers creepers. Are they breeding down there? What the heck does he mean they come from the basement? That can't be right.
I survived. It did nothing. I felt it right away. It was a cool tiny (no broom was required after all) ordinary spider. So why the heck am I still freaked out?
What is your irrational fear and how do you overcome it when it suddenly ain't so irrational?
Spiders on my bathroom ceiling.
It even freaks me out a little just thinking that. Always has. Why, I mean why would a spider be in my bathroom????
As with all irrational fears, it makes sense to me. Spiders in any other setting are neat. On my bathroom ceiling-- not cool. I'm in a vulnerable place where I'm focused and busy. Naked in the shower, pants around the ankles on the toilet, dangerous string between my gums... the list of my vulnerability is endless. I need to know I'm safe in my bathroom and creatures who attempt to defy gravity freak me out a little. What if they fell on me?
You see where I'm going with this, right?
3am
groggy trip to the bathroom
slight movement on my right shoulder
Now I am fully awake screaming at a HUGE GREEN SPIDER on my right shoulder. (Please note that huge is not tarantula size-- we don't do kickass big spiders like that in Saskatchewan-- and I can see my cuz from Mexico rolling his eyes at me that it was just tiny and required no broom at all- apparently that is how he judges their size. And just for the record, if I ever saw a spider that required a broom for me to defend against I would move.)
Regardless, to me it was a monstrous hybrid-spider that was bred on the prairies. A result of too many field chemicals and fresh air. I looked it up, but I was probably the first person alive to ever see a spider like this. Or maybe, just maybe everyone is actually only concerned with the big ones that require a broom to defend against (I can't imagine a spider that freakishly big.)
This one had a fat round belly like the spiders we find on our wood piles only its big belly was dark green. Its legs were this cool light cream colour. Colour wise it was unique. Never seen one that shade before or even that combo of shades. I got thinking that maybe they only come out at night. We had one something like it only grey on our siding by the front door at one time and it only came out at night. When you'd go outside to check out the stars it would be looking at you all happy with life. Which is fine, spiders belong outside. Not on my right shoulder, at 3am, while I'm on the toilet.
Its belly was about the size of a dime. Big enough for me to grab onto (which thoroughly freaked me out.) Over all-- now that I'm safely tucked into my bed-- it was a a cool spider.
Where did it come from? By this I mean exactly how did it get on my right shoulder, at 3am, while I was on the toilet? Did it come with me from my bed? (okay we're going to rule that out right now because that will just create a new irrational fear that means I might never sleep again.)
So did it crawl off my toilet paper roll on to my shoulder? No. It was facing up as if it crawled out of my tangtop and was not headed down it. (THANK YOU GOD.) It looked ready to run but was somewhat stunned. (Yes, I caught all that in the moment we looked at each other and we screamed-- do spiders scream? I think this one might have.)
My only explanation is that my lifelong irrational fear came true. It fell from the ceiling (which in my groggy state I might have forgotten to check for spiders before entering and I promise you will never ever happen again) and landed on my shoulder. Does this mean my fear is no longer irrational? Hmmm. I liked it better when it was irrational and not actually a possibility.
As I was thinking about this in my bed, the air conditioner made a slight click that sent me to the ceiling and ended up with me pasted against superman. He of course woke up (finally!) and so I had to tell him my tale.
"Where did it come from?" I asked him so innocently.
He of course answered in the only way he knows-- with the bold honest truth, "They come from the basement."
They?
They?
THEY!
I meant how did it get on my shoulder but now all I can focus on is THEY. Should I be expecting a colony (or is that a cluster?) of these uglies? How does one prepare? Part of the fear is the unknown, they always take you off guard. And until that point, I assumed it came originally from outside. Anything green comes from grass, leaves, trees, not my basement. Geepers creepers. Are they breeding down there? What the heck does he mean they come from the basement? That can't be right.
I survived. It did nothing. I felt it right away. It was a cool tiny (no broom was required after all) ordinary spider. So why the heck am I still freaked out?
What is your irrational fear and how do you overcome it when it suddenly ain't so irrational?
