Missing Someone

Missing someone is a strange but powerful part of life. Some days you miss their wisdom, others their presence. You miss the way they did things and you catch yourself saying the weird things they did that once upon a time made you roll your eyes. My favourite is, "I see, said the blind man." Which was a saying my dad used to use. Worse, when someone mispronounces a word like them, you find yourself smiling, because it's a reminder of how human they were.

You think about the things they didn't get to do or see. And so, because you miss them, you do these things for them, as if that will somehow bring you closer to them or perhaps give you closure.

You drive to their grave and stare at it, tormented by the fact that nothing is right with it. Not a thing. This is not where you should be visiting.

You gather all these pictures in a folder that remind you of them, but looking at them is hard so you just hold the folder like some idiot, hoping it will help.

And you don't shed a tear because it's not just pain causing you to act this way but love. And the two emotions conflict so you just sit there numb wondering when was the last time you laughed.

You have anger. It can't be explained or even properly directed. It just is. And when someone points it out you growl because words can't explain it.

The way you see religion and afterlife changes. If you were raised with these beliefs, you will need them now. Others will share their beliefs. In these moments, all of it is helpful and uplifting yet so useless and terrifying.

Even though you're happy others are there with you, this little void is inside you remembers the one you miss, as if they left with a part of your soul and forgot you needed it. Or maybe they need it wherever they went.

When you miss someone, everyone else falls into three categories: those who have no clue what to say so they walk away or deepen your pain, those who care so much your pain is suddenly theirs and you're comforting them, and of course, those who you NEED around you, for no particular reason or wisdom, you just do.

There is the life before you missed them and the life after. Not sure how that happens, but it becomes a moment in time like you were reborn with their death and when that day rolls around each year you find yourself another year older in this new life with still no grasp on how you survived so long and no clue if that other life will ever return. Perhaps you're comfortable in this new role. And with that is a realization about just how easy life was with them in it. Easier. For so many reasons. Still, looking at your actions, your words, your writing, your everything, nothing was the same after that day. You can physically see the imprint it left on your life as if the book you were writing ended abruptly and another began.

When you miss someone, you feel their teachings seep in at the strangest moments and you listen out of respect.

You talk to them when they aren't there, not because you're crazy, but because what if? What if they were there for just a moment and you missed it?

You find yourself drawn to others who grieve as if someone has answers.

You think about the moments of their life and death, giving them purpose and reason.

You live  your life with more energy. More passion. More questions.

You wonder if they would even recognize you, if they came home today, because the person you are today is so different than the person they left.

Or maybe that's just me.

What do you find yourself doing when you miss someone? How do you use that powerful emotion to push you forward instead of tackle you down? What things have others done to help you, or that you have done for others?

A Peek Into Your Life Nancy Wood

A peek into your life, is a segment spotlighting authors, specialists, and friends who brave my countless questions day in and day out. It's the best way I can share with you all, the many people who taught me the bizarre things I know, who satisfy my thirst for knowledge and adventure, and who keep me motivated.

I met Nancy Wood through a publisher we share and her mystery series intrigued me. You can visit her at her site HERE.

Her books Due Date and The Stork are about a woman who agrees to be a surrogate mother for cash, but soon discovers that something is amiss with the family she is carrying twins for. I have yet to read it, but am looking forward to diving into this one. I jumped at the opportunity to interview Nancy and find out a bit about her writing and her life.

Where did you get the idea for The Stork?
This book is the second book in a mystery series. I got the idea when I was attending a writing workshop. The idea I'd come with was a dud, and I came up with this idea while working in a group. That was over ten years ago. It took me five years to finish the first book in the series, Due Date, and six more to finish this one. Hopefully the third won't take as long! The character's name is Shelby McDougall. In Due Date, she's fresh out of college and decides to become a surrogate mom. But the intended parents are not who they seem, and have their own agenda. The second book picks up Shelby's story five+ years later. The third, the one I'm working on, will be set in the not-too-distant future.
Is there a message you try to pass on while writing? Or a theme that emerges naturally?
When I was writing this book, I realized that I always like to write about nature. I live in a beautiful part of the world (Santa Cruz, California) and I love to place my characters in the outdoors, so that I can write about what's around me.

What is the best thing that has come out running your blog?
Definitely my author interview series. I post an interview every week with an author. I love meeting other authors, learning about their books, and discovering tidbits about the writing process.

Where do you do your best writing?
At my desk, on my computer. My ideal writing time is in the morning, just after I get up, with my cup of tea.

What book would you recommend as "this is a book every writer should read”?
I really benefited from Your Book Starts Here, by Mary Carroll Moore. It's an excellent how-to book with sections on planning, writing, and developing the story. Her wisdom really helped me figure out the inner and outer stories and how to weave them into a coherent whole.

What one thing did you learn that you wish to pass on to other writers?
When you're writing, try to ignore that inner critic. I think everyone has one, and it will get you every time! I know from years of personal experience. My critic often perches on my shoulder as I write and I have to work really hard to not listen.

What is the best thing about where you live?
Access to the outdoors, with multiple places to go to get away from it all. I live close to several state parks that span acres and acres of land, encompassing coastal redwood forests and beaches along the Pacific Ocean. I love to hop on my bike and ride along the trails, or walk along the coastal path.

Based on your experience or research, what is a great place to travel to or visit? Why?
I was lucky to be able to spend last summer in the city of Ghent, Belgium. It has not been discovered in the sense of being on the heavily travelled tourist circuit. It's a university city, and is the second largest city in Belgium. The interior of the city, the ancient part of the city dating back to the middle ages, is a pedestrian zone, with only busses, trolleys, and taxis allowed. The city is crisscrossed by canals, and has retained its beautiful medieval architecture, including the Gravensteen Castle; St. Bavo's Cathedral, with the famous Ghent Altarpiece; three beguinages; and dozens of churches. I discovered the brand-new library, De Krook, and was in heaven. It was built on a curve (de krook) in the Scheldt River and is a real marvel.

Thank you so much Nancy for the peek into your life! That sounds like a place I for sure have to add to my travel list. Thanks for recommending Your Book Starts Here, that isn't one I read!! 

For more information about Nancy, or to check out her books you can find her at:
Website and blog: nancywoodbooks.wordpress.com
Twitter: @NancyWoodAuthor

Interview with AHF

I was interviewed by Alternate History Fiction Magazine this year. This is a great magazine full of things any alternate history buff will enjoy from poetry to interviews and reviews.

Wanting to know if the ghosts in Ghosts on the Prairies are inspired by real ghosts or if the legends in Legends on the Prairies are based on real myths? Or who inspired the heroines in my stories or even designed the incredible covers?

Be sure to check out the full interview at: AHF. It will later be available on their website HERE.
Available on Amazon