So Did You Slap Your Tour Guide?

I love Moose Jaw. It's my fav city. So naturally, I set many of my stories there. What a better place than one with tunnels, and old hotels, and a history so magical? Plus, this means, I get to explore it, tear it apart. So this is what I did this summer.

Moose Jaw brings out emotions in me that just make me want to write, get creative, try new things, get in touch with my past, find out things, and tell you about what happened here on the prairies while people pretended the world around them was perfect. There are no secrets in Moose Jaw, yet everything is a secret. They say Al Capone was there, maybe. They say they used Chinese slaves to do the laundry and they hid them underground in opium dens. Weird what we are proud of here on the prairies. And wow, those are just a few of the secrets they reel you in with. Once you start to dig into the history of Moose Jaw, it's endless, it’s powerful.

During my last tour deep in the underground Moose Jaw tunnels I was lead by a very energetic young actor. It was his first day. I love those guys! Always try to get those guys when going on a tour like this!! He moved me to tears, he made me laugh, and... well here’s the image;

We’re deep in the tunnel in a room that serves as both a living and a working room. It smells like lye and sweat. It’s hot and stuffy. Crowded. Dark. Damp. Scary. He’s telling us how we won’t see daylight again for years. How we’ll be giving half our day’s wages to live here, and we’ll sleep when tired. How our food will be locked up and how we’ll piss in a pot in the corner. When I ran my hand over the carving of a Chinese woman on a bed frame, all entranced by the love in the image, the tour guide came beside me, playing his role and screamed in my ear, "Coolie! I told you not to ruin the bed! Bloody inconsiderate!" I just about slapped him. hehehe. I know he was just playing his part, but damn, he played it well. Ever slap your tour guide? lol.

Yeah, Moose Jaw is magical. So much fun. What cities did you visit this summer that inspired you? And did you slap your tour guide?

13 comments:

Mary Mary said...

Cute story! I've never had the urge to slap a tour guide, but I can see why you felt the sudden need!

nick said...

Good story. No, I've never slapped a tour guide - they may leave you stranded.

Jess said...

I enjoyed reading this~ love your tour guide's spirit :)

Tanya Reimer said...

Mary Mary, it was very moving.

Nick, I would have been lost under Moose Jaw!!! AHHHH. Never thought of that!

Jess, yes he was very dedicated, and quite the actor. Had me convinced I was going to have to pee in that pot if I didn't behave. yikes!

Charlie said...

I almost punched an actor in a haunted house when he thought his role allowed him to grab my then-girlfriend. Almost. :)

Tanya Reimer said...

hahahha Charlie! That's funny! Bet he deserved it! Where oh where did he grab her? oh my!

Charlie said...

Just an innocent shoulder grab, but he didn't grab any of the dudes.

DUTA said...

'Moose Jaw' - quite an intriguing name and place!
I like a tour guide like this one who can turn a tour into a special experience. I wouldn't have slapped him. In fact, I don't think I would slap any tour guide.

Samantha Sotto said...

Haha! Oh, my! Can't say that I've ever done that, but your story reminds me of a scene in my book! You're in my head, girl :D

Tanya Reimer said...

Oh no I'm sure he didn't do it by accident either, Charlie.

You know Charlie that actually happened to me once in a haunted house, but the actor would not let go. I mean I dragged this guy down a flight of steps and took out my daughter in the process!!! I had to physically take this zommbie off me! (Ninja style) And I was screaming bloody murder like I was dying!!! (girlie style)

Turns out I knew the actor so it was a prank! Yeah. Funny. I. was. not. laughing. dumbass.

Vicki Tremper said...

It is amazing how you see the magic in everything. Truly a gift. I don't remember ever having a tour guide so into his part that he'd yell in my ear. Maybe you should have slapped him. Hee hee.

Richard said...

I've been on any number of tours, but the best tour guides were in New Orleans a few years back--pre-Katrina. They don't have to play the part. They are the part.

Tanya Reimer said...

Duta, maybe Moose Jaw wil make you're cool blog eh? hee hee!

Samantha your book arrive in my mail TODAY!!! What are the odds of that!!??

Oh Vicki, it would have made a nice climax if I would have slapped him, no?

Richard, New Orleans sounds like a darn nice place to visit. My dream place. Ah.