How Far Would You Jump For Love?

"She's gone!" The panic in my voice was enough to worry any mother. The missing "she" was a Betta fish. She was new to our little basement suite, and made her home in one of the two bowls beside what I hoped would be the fish of her dreams. Bubbles was lonely. But I was told to keep them apart for a bit, especially since he was nesting, or bubbling, and once they spawned, well, he might kill her, and if she wasn't interested, she might kill him. Troublesome in itself, and would make a great story all alone, but there was magic at play a part from that.

This isn't a boring fish tale, or about magic, trust me, this is a story about a horny fish. And never in my entire life, did I guess how dedicated that could make a fish.

Anyway, back to the frantic scene where I'm running around looking for a fish. I mean, gee, I tore that room apart, because really, where could a fish go? It wasn't like this was beach front property. Nope, my babies were in goldfish bowls by my bed, surrounded by a sea of books.

So anyway, the fish had vanished. Bizarre, even at my place.

Now, I could drag this out and add tension, dialogue, you know, make it a real story-- I know how-- but I'm just going to lay it on ya. When I opened my murder mystery that night, I got a little more dead body than I bargained for. Yup. My baby was squished in the book! Horrified, I tossed her in the bowl.
Looking back, I don't know why, I tossed a dead fish into a bowl of water, I just did. One of those life's like that moments, so just go with it.

Point is, I tossed her lifeless body into water because I was freaked out.
Magically, she refocused and away she went, good as new, making eyes at the hard at work bubble making male who wanted to mate and kill her. He worked even harder at his nest that night-- I think even he was impressed, and hopefully thinking twice about the whole killing her thing. In my mind, she was magical.

Did you know fish could survive in a book for 24 hours? You learn something new everyday, eh? Still, don't try this at home.

I know that in the wild these fish jump from puddle to puddle, but to survive the murderous plot of the mystery I was reading? Wow. I still marvel at how she must have timed that jump perfectly to hit my book, as I closed it. But more so, it amazes me that she survived as if nothing happened!! Wow. She didn't even ask for a shrink. Now. At this point, one can only assume, she knew her fate and was running for her life, or... well... maybe she was looking for pointers in that book about how to survive a murderous boyfriend.
Softy that I am, I decided not to spawn them and just enjoy the miracle.

Well. What the heck do I know? She jumped again that night, right into his tank. Yup. I caught her this time. That wild gal had made the leap into the bubbling Bubble's tank. Man, was he excited!

He never did kill her. In fact, I watched them closely for days, and they ever scrapped either. Just rubbed each other in a very satisfying way, enjoying life's little pleasures. I gave them some privacy after that. They never did successfully spawn. It seems, she did pick up a few things about setting her guy straight too, because every time he made his little bubble nest, she would inspect, destroy, and then watch him work his ass off remaking it, all the while teasing him with her body. Which just kept him distracted from the task at hand, or should I say, fin? Regardless, poor guy couldn't focus to get it right if his life depended on it.

Or maybe... maybe they liked the whole flirting game they had going on, and neither wanted the fun to end.

Here is a great link on how to spawn bettas successfully, because I clearly sucked at it. So did you ever do anything this crazy for a little rubbing? A few bubbles?


E.J. Wesley said...

Amore ... it sucks for man fish too. I once built a sandcastle for a girl only to have her destroy it and demand another .... ;-)

Fun post!


Richard said...

Hm, has your fantasy world invaded the real world? I think you could make this into an interesting story. The Supernatual Betta Redux.

And did you ever think that lover boy didn't want her around anyway? He was happy she was gone? Now he's being tortured again. Women are all alike. ;D

That's the first time I've ever did one of those keyboard things. Did I do it right in this context?

Anonymous said...

"Don't try this at home."

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! That is seriously the best line ever. Closely followed by you getting more dead body than you bargained for when you opened the mystery.

Thanks for the laugh, my friend! Je ris, je pleure.


Tanya Reimer said...

Haha! E.J. That does suck! Girls are mean eh? tehe. Bet ya did it though, eh? eh?

Yeah Richard, methinks the magic has seeped through. And honestly, I have NO IDEA what those two were thinking. clearly. geesh, eh?

Vicki I was serious! I do not need some moron emailing me telling me; "Hey dude, I tried putting my fish in a fantasy and it DID NOT work, she like totally did not come back to life. You owe me a horny fish." Seriously folks, do not try this at home, I have magical fish. hehe. or as Richard would say ;)

Pk Hrezo said...

This is so cute! lol .... reading thru it I was like, "Really? They can live without air?" You had me going for a while... :)

Tanya Reimer said...

hehe. This is a TRUE story, PK. --Really don't try this at home.-- Apparently, in the wild they puddle jump and wait out rains for days in the mud. Maybe there was enough moisture in the pages-- knowing that kinda ruins the magic, eh?

Samantha Sotto-Yambao said...

"When I opened my murder mystery that night, I got a little more dead body than I bargained for."


Mindy McGinnis said...

Wow! Hilarious, and startling. My blog rounds are so varied today - horny fish, and another one I follow is talking about cats with opposable thumbs. I'm going to make sure I'm actually awake....

Fresh Garden said...

Awesome! Thanks for sharing, that's wonderful!
Love - To reach a great height a person needs to have great depth.

Margo Berendsen said...

I love a good fishy tale! This is hilarious! Absolutely amazing that she showed up in your murder mystery, and survived!!!!

I have an award for you over at my blog... wishing now I'd gotten bettas instead of boring tiger barbs.