Ooo Gabriela Lessa is hosting another awesome contest. I couldn't refuse... the temptation was too much...
So last minute, but I'm in!
Here are the rules because you can play too: To enter this contest, you should post a love scene from a finished manuscript on your blog this Sunday, June 12th. (Yeah today) The excerpt must have a maximum length of 750 words, but can be less! The scene we're looking for can show love in all kinds of ways, in all kinds of genres; YA or adult only. Any kind of love. Go here if you want to play!The fabulous agent, Weronika Janczuk, of Lynn C. Franklin Associates, Ltd. will be judging!
Yay! Now I have way too many scenes to choose from, but I went with my newest finished MS. It's in final edits, and no one has read it yet because I'm still clutching onto it. Still it's done and it's full of romance, love, and naughty sex between the demon and the seducer. Well. Here is one of their tamer moments, but love strikes at the oddest times.
Name: Tanya Reimer
Title: FINDING BALANCE
Genre: New Adult Urban Fantasy
Entry word count: 546 words.
Manuscript word count: 108,000
Link number: 21
My Scene;
ENTERED Thank you for all the great comments and suggestions. And good-luck to all the enteries.
UPDATE: Received Honorable Mention for this contest.Thanks Gabriela for a great contest with great prizes!!
Thanks Gabriela it was fun!
15 comments:
Whoo! Intense, loved it! Best of luck in the contest.
I'm with Heather: intense!
I wish you'd given us a little bit more of the scene or set-up, because it's hard getting a feel for the characters. I think I get that he's Pierre but not Pierre, because he's in another form?
I always love UST, and this is it in spades! I definitely want more, more, more.
I like this a lot, but because I'm not familiar with the genre, I want to know the difference between the kisses he's given her a million times, and this 'real' kiss. Have they never physically kissed, but only in their minds? Either way, I'm intrigued!
I loved some of the images here. Leaves. Kind of random, but I loved that unexpectedness, because it instantly made me think of him as earthy, and I wanted to know more about him and what kind of being he was (I assume he's not quite human). I would read more.
I like this. It keeps me wanting to know more. Good job!
With the double 'he' in the first line, I assumed both characters were male and wasn't sure which was crying. I think you might want a bigger lead-in to this. I have to say the details also confused me. Kissed a thousand times, yet lips would never meet? At the end, with the mention of Pierre by Pierre, I felt as if there were a third invisible character in the room or maybe I'd been mistaken from beginning to end.
I thought your technique was good. Perhaps this scene just needs some background...
I'm intrigued. I also thought the same thing about the leaves. Kind of a strange smell. Want to know more for sure! Good luck!!!!!!!
Ok, knowing good advice when I read it, I added in a touch more to this scene. Does it need more?
Hi Tanya!
BIG difference now. So much more is explained. I understand the reason for the tears and some of the history of the characters' relationship. Now, I think it stands as is. Great job!
Hot stuff! Yay, Watcher and Sly. Can't wait to read this one. Good luck in the contest!
WOW! That non-kiss scene was perhaps one of the best non-kiss scenes I've ever read! (hee hee, it seems funny to discuss not kissing). It was super sexy. You have a knack for capturing emotion and displaying it at all the right times.
And Pierre's last line was phenomenal! OMG, I melted.
Good luck!
My thoughts echo Jeanmarie (this is what I get posting late all the good comments are taken). I want to read more.
You've got me hooked - I like the tension in the air, and it's obvious they want each other, but so many other things are going on. The only part I wanted more was when he asked her to marry him - seems like a biggie but she skims over it... of course it is out of context and this could have history to it. Otherwise, liked it a lot.
Good luck.
WOW. So much great stuff here. I'm intrigued by the "whispering" concept. The tension between the characters was very palpable (and HOT.) Good luck with the contest!!!
Like another reader commented, I haven't read a lot in this genre and thus felt pretty lost. For instance, "I suppose I deserved that." Deserved what? She didn't seem to say anything insulting. Can he read her thoughts? Another line I found confusing was, "The circles he traced increased". What circles? Where? It is hard for me to comment because I just don't have a handle on the concept. I did get the tension, though, and the heat, so that was done well. One last thing, halfway is not hyphenated. Good luck in the contest and in your future writing! Sorry I wasn't much help.
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